cause lately i've
dance with me

Put on my records, know my song,
if you're lucky, we might just sing along.
yes, i mean you.
not you, i meant you.

then read me a book,
a classic, any story.
I like Shakespeare and Twilight.

head down to the mall,
pick out some boho-chic.
give me my scarves, my t-shirts,
my flats, my sneakers.
my oversized shades with a coutoure jacket.

and we'll waltz into the movie,
grab a seat in the back,
enjoy the thrill,
of living in another time and riddle.

but at the end of the day,
when sunset has gone,
and twilight has fallen,
one last goodbye,
and a slamming screen door.
is all that we're leaving.


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Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Tumblr!
8:24 PM
I am rather pissed at Tumblr right now. I love it way more right now, as compared to Blogger, but I want to cross-post Blogger and Tumblr so I can choose which one to update. But it's pissing me off because it won't let me!

Oh well, I shall just, leave Blogger for a while? I hope ya'll will follow me on Tumblr too!

http://cheskaverse.tumblr.com !


Anyway, here I am, at home, in the Philippines, and I am loving it.

Shopping, Family, Fun :)

I'm trying to get into a habit of jogging atleast 3 times a week, and next Monday I'm gonna be doing a run with my cousins. Yay?

I'm also trying to sleep earlier, and get up earlier. Grow taller you see? I really want to grow taller. seriously. I can't stand being my height for the rest of my life. I doubt I've grown at all this year. Everyone who hasn't seen me in a while always comments on my hair, or my face, or my clothes, but never "oh! you've grown so much!", unlike everyone else...

That sucks you know? Being this height... Pray for me please...


Anyway, I'm gonna try to get ready for bed, after I fix up the Tumblr thing.
And if you never see updates here in a while, do be sure to check out my Tumblr!


Tuesday, November 10, 2009
facebook crosspost.
6:09 PM
EDIT// Originally posted on my Facebook, yesterday. Since my previous post is kind of not what i'm feeling now, I decided to put this up here, so you'll know what i've been up to.
Also, today is Tuesday and according to the list, I was supposed to clean out old books and worksheets. I'm glad to say I have accomplished that :D



Now because the Internet does not reach as far as where I am sitting, I am typing this out on the Text Editor of my mom's Macbook. Wow, that sentence sounded like I was doing product placement -.-

Anyway, I am officially boring myself out at home. So bored, so bored in fact that I ended up hitting the gym just now. It's just that there doesn't seem to be anything for me to do! Sure, there's holiday homework, but who really wants to do that right? On the subject of holiday homework though, I would like to say that I have completed the English homework, which was the 1100 Words book. Pretty much the only thing I've done though. The math assignment is tough! I tried doing it, and I was doing pretty well until the second question came up and I was stumped. Answers anyone?

So in lieu of my inability to do anything, I have decided to set up a daily to-do list, to keep myself occupied.


Tuesday - CLEAR ROOM. Put old books into a box. Recycle old worksheets. (I can do that, right?)

Wednesday - SC Chalet. (should I go? I mean, I already paid...)

Thursday - SC Chalet.

Friday - Re-organize closet. Put clothes-that-don't-fit-anymore into a box.

Saturday - Chinese tuition in the morning. Do something to my wall in the afternoon.




So there, Sunday is a rest day, so nothing on that.

My room wall is looking a little bland lately. What should I put on it? I've put some pictures, but there's too little of them! I can't think of other things to put on them. If you want to see what my ideal wall looks like, go to Youtube and search for charlieissocoollike. Look at his wall, isn't it brilliant?

I'm so jealous of Keith right now. Here I am wasting away at home, unable to go out because I'm still H1N1-contagious... And he's off in Sydney doing God-knows-what. Not fair is it?

Why couldn't the school just put the streaming results up earlier? Do they really need two weeks to process everything? I mean come on, it's a bloody computer that's doing the sorting, not an ancient Sorting Hat! Ugh. Just get it out already so I can hop on my plane and be off to the Philippines!

Oh and speaking of Philippines, I get to watch New Moon earlier than all you people in Singapore again. It comes out there on the 21st of November, last I heard. It only comes out here on the 3rd of December, so IN YA FACE.


Friday, November 6, 2009
too bored. too pissed.
9:54 PM
I'd just like to let you know, that because I am not wearing my glasses, my screen is actually magnified to about 5 times its original size. Isn't that cool? And everything is still rather blurry. :D


So, day four of being cooped up at home. It's rather tragic. All I can do at home is sit, stare, sit. Okay not really. I can watch TV, and use the computer, and make music, but that's not ALOT. Granted I might be just as inactive as I am now even without the sickness, but having the sickness makes me feel all the more pathetic.

I was so sick of using the computer that I ended up lying on my bed, attempting to take a nap. After about 1 hour of lying there, I eventually got up and decided to strum randomly on my guitar.

SEE THAT?! I WAS TOO BORED TO FALL ASLEEP.
how in the world is that possible?!


I can't believe I'm going to miss the last Cat class of the year. Would the catechists postpone it just for me please? (Yeah... In your dreams -.- ) Oh well, I hope Vicky takes loads of pictures, as she always does, and I'll just live vicariously through them.


I just realised that the main reason I am blogging, is cause I'm just so bored I can't do anything else. Plus, typing out a blog post is like talking to yourself, only you get to publish your conversation to the world and let others see what wacky things you can talk about. With yourself.

Did I just make myself sound doubly pathetic?


Anywho, I swear, I am going to hit the gym everyday when I get better. I'm fat. And I need to get rid of it! And, I have to build up my stamina... Not that it matters anymore though, Coach already chose the team...



!@#$@#$^%&(*%&$#~!@#$(*)(*#$@!~@#%$(*)*@#!~!@#$&^




UGH. I can't stand this already. One of the really really really bad downsides of staying at home for prolonged periods of time is being in too close proximity with my parents.

As of now, my mom's still cool, because she's sick as well, so she's got no energy to do much.

But my DAD. Gosh, it's alllllllllllllways my dad.
He's downloading something for the computer, and when it's downloading, you're not supposed to shut it off. But hey presto, there was a short circuit a while ago, and OBVIOUSLY, the power supply would be cut off. And obviously, cause and effect, the computer would shut off too. HENCE, the downloading would cease, and no download for the computer. Aw. Well, because I'm using the computer now, and I wanted to get my dad to download something for me, I clicked on that thing he was downloading for the computer and I wanted to show him and he immediately went...

"DON'T EVER SHUT THAT DOWN. YOU ALWAYS SHUT IT DOWN."

in a tone that was obviously blaming me for the delay in download and making me sound like an absolute retard. EVERYTIME something happens to the download or to computers, it's. always. my. fault.

bloody hell.

Couldn't even pause to think that maybe the short circuit had shut the computer down? And since he already started up the computer, he already had all the time in the world to process that it was the short circuit's fault.

In a fit of rage, people can do silly things. But I still blame you.


Thursday, November 5, 2009
H1N1 Positive.
8:55 PM
Person wearing mask
Yep, I got it.
I got the H1N1 flu bug.




So now, I'm stuck at home, unable to do anything.

Which sucks, because this darned disease made me miss one very important thing.
The class chalet!
I wonder how it went...


Anyway, I'm feeling all better now. Just having a slight irritation in my throat, but other than that, I'm feeling good. The fever's passed, though i'm not sure if it's because of the Panadol I'm taking. And the resulting body aches are gone too.

But I'm still a confirmed H1N1 case.
whoopdedoo.

I shall tell you how they tested for the virus.

First, Ms Doctor puts on a pair of goggles.
Then, she takes out a sample tube thingy. It's filled with blood-colored liquid.
Next, she opens up a sterile container and takes out one really long cotton bud thing.
Afterwards, she takes that long cotton bud thing and STICKS IT UP YOUR NOSE.
She pokes and digs around for a bit, causing your eyes to involuntarily close and tear up.
Finally, she is done extracting your snot and you're good to go.
Snot sample is then sent to the hospital for testing.

voila!

I'd like to emphasise the length of the cotton bud, because it is really long. And it goes right up your nose, touching places you never knew you had.

How interesting this sounds, right?


Anyway, because of my virus and potential contagious-ness, I will miss out on so many wonderful things this week.

1. The movie-date with Trice, Gitta and possibly Ariel. D:

2. The school's open house. That would've been fun.

3. The last lesson of Catechism. This one's only a possible miss, all depends on if I'm still contagious or not.

4. (already missed) The class chalet and BBQ.



How tragic.

Everytime I have so much lined up for me, BANG, and I get sick.

Funny thing is, even if it is H1N1 this time, I still got the same old medication that I always get with every other sickness.

Just goes to show how sneaky H1N1 is. So my advice to all ya sick-feeling people out there. Google the symptoms for H1N1 the moment you're sick, specially when it's worse than you've ever been. If your symptoms match, go see a doctor. Might save you a lot of pain.


aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand you get to enjoy the thrill of having a long cotton bud stuck up your nose.


Monday, November 2, 2009
ALLTIMELOW.DW.little bit lost.
9:50 PM

Feeling just a teeny-weeny bit lost and confused at the moment. I don't know. I'm being weird I guess. I don't know what I'm doing. A little melodrama? Maybe it's the anxiousness of the situation I'm in.

Here I am, waiting for my streaming results, absolutely helpless as to what would happen. I'm hoping and praying I'll get into the stream I want (obviously the first choice).

At this point I'd like to point out that I can't actually see the blinking thing that shows you where you're typing. That little "I" thing. D:

Anyway, not just streaming, but what about next year? Am I being weird, or crazy, but I feel like my heart's not that into netball anymore. I mean, I don't mind trainings and such, but it's not as interesting and as fun as before. Am I crazy? I hope not. But I am actually deliberating if I should join a second CCA next year, or actually quit netball. Yes, at this point, I'm bordering on "insane".



On a brighter note, I came back from my voice lesson today. Mom says there's a general improvement in technique. I can sing, but now I sing better (: Yes that made sense.

I'm moving towards the art-sy side right now. As I always do during the holidays. Music takes over ever second I'm awake. Poetry slowly seeps back into my brain, and I actually form rhyming couplets now. In fact, I'd much rather spend my time playing the guitar than watching TV, on some days of course (:

And I'd really love to take up some dance classes. Not so much hip-hop anymore. I'd kind of rather do Jazz, but hip-hop would be fun too (: Drama classes would be fun too, and of course, voice lessons.


And Doctor Who. Ah Doctor Who. I haven't watched it at all this weekend. That's rather depressing. Can't go a week without the Doctor!

Also, I was at Gitta's house for Halloween on Saturday, as always. Dressed up as some weird white-faced black-eyed woman. The trick-or-treaters said I looked like a character from Japanese horror shows. Actually, I don't look THAT scary on first sight. But of course, with a couple of seconds of staring, and awkward movements on my part, you'd get creeped out. :D

In conclusion, our Halloween act every year relies on the scarers' acting skills.


wonderful shot eh, this one? My mom took it outside the Asian Civilisation Museum, as we were walking away from the opening of the "Land of the Morning" exhibit. If you haven't gone to that exhibit, you should. It's a great way to see the Philippine culture and its people and history. What's funny though is that some of the pieces were borrowed from the Ayala Museum in Makati, which I had gone to. And here they are, and I saw them again. But then again, this exhibit was partly sponsored by the Ayala group, so I shouldn't be surprised.


I'm in love with All Time Low. I swear, could there be a better band than them? They're awesome. Music's amazing, lyrics are amazing, and the icing on the cake? They're a bunch of really awesome, cool, funny guys that just love having a good time.



I promise I will grow taller this holiday. sleeping way earlier than I usually do, I should do that. Grow grow grow. Before the summer, Marion and I were about the same height, sort of. She was less than half a head taller than me. When she came back, she's definitely a whole head taller than me. That's not fair.
Then again, her parents are extremely tall. But I will still try to grow. It sucks being short ya know.

On the subject of being short.... My patience has really been worn out during the course of the year. I didn't mind the comments at all throughout the first semester. But come last term, I was shooting daggers out of my eyes at anyone who slams my height.

To those people who like to pick at my height.
It's not that funny you know. Making all those tall-short jokes. Yes I know me standing between two tall people makes a valley. Yes I know the air I breathe isn't as "fresh" as all you people "up there". Yes I know I can't reach higher up areas, that's why I ask you for help duh. Yes I know many things you like to tease me about.
I'm sick and tired of all these damned jokes. Honestly, if you take pride and joy in picking at other people's (let's say...) disabilities, then you're a sick person. Sick. Grow up will you? Really, being short wasn't so bad until everyone started poking fun at it.
You could do it once in a while, I wouldn't mind. Might even be a cheery laugh. But over and over again? Especially when you use it as a conversation starter? That makes you lame, and makes you seem unable to carry a proper, intelligent conversation. I keep asking myself, WHY AM I FRIENDS WITH YOU?

Oh, the "I" thing's back.

Anyway, to you people who make fun of my height... Get a life.


With all my bad attitudes towards things that irk me, I'm really glad that the holidays are here, and I can take a long break from the people I see everyday. Everyone needs time apart right? This'll give me a chance to refresh.

Goodnight people. Have a good one.

"I fell asleep and dreamt of you. I woke up and wished it were true."

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Friday, October 30, 2009
life sucks, but resolutions must be made.
8:35 PM

Alright, i'm depressed.

My results weren't TOO bad, I'm still in the top 150 in level, but I dropped 100 positions, and that makes me sad more than anything. I also dropped out of the top 10 in class, which sucks a hell of a lot.

I'm one of the 5 people in the level who got A2 for English though. Fat lot of good that would do for streaming since all streams only need a "pass" for English.

Mr. D says I'm too complacent, hence the terrible results. Ms Chia says that if I could set clear goals and work to be BETTER than I already am, then I would be really really good. But because i'm too content with where I am, I suck. (I'm curious as to why neither of my teachers could have told me this if they'd already observed it for a long time. thanks a lot for being such a great help teachers -.- )

That's the reality of it.. Because of my lack of interest in somethings, I lose out, and hence, suck.

Too bad for me, isn't it?


Atleast I didn't have to face my results alone. I was with the other councillors doing duty with me, so I didn't have the urge to cry or be sour the entire day. Thanks you guys (:

Unfortunately, it didn't help that the new batch of councillors for both Sec 1 and 2 had met the minimum requirement of being in the top 30% of the cohort to get into the board. So, other than Ivy and Zhen An, we were surrounded with the "elite" and the smart-ass geniuses.

Tough and demoralising ya know.



Anyway, for the calm before today's storm, I shall talk about yesterday. After the briefing for Open House duty, Kaline, Bryan and I went to KFC to eat a really late lunch. We were kind of bored, so we played "don't-say-words-with-S-or-F-for-half-an-hour". It was tough, and of course, me being the blur one, lost. I made one mistake every two minutes! bliddy hell.

It was fun though, and we couldn't stop laughing.
And as per usual, they both ended up on the bus to my house for the loop. Such great friends you guys are, nice enough to accompany me most of the way home (:



These few days have been tough.. I know it's after exams, but it just seems so much more complicated and tiring.

The only thing that's keeping me afloat after my disastrous comments and results is what Li Han said.

"It's better to be the worst of the best, than to be the best of the worst."

Wise words from a wise man, who loses his shoes often :p




Next year, I promise. No more complacency, no more "camping". I'm going to work out a study plan, a good one, that keeps me going. I won't become a burnout, not like what happened this year. I won't fall below anyone's expectations. I'll pick up the pieces and get back into the top 100 atleast.


Because my first three choices were all double science, I'm kind of worried. Won't people think that I'm not smart enough to get into triple science? It's not that i'm interested in triple, i'm more of a humanities person, but you know, being in double isn't exactly the BEST.

I'm afraid everyone will look down on me, specially since most people I know were aiming for triple...

but i'm just not a science person!


ugh.



life sucks.