OMG MY PHONE IS CONFISCATED.

how the hell am i going to live without it??

And the BEST part *rolls eyes* about it getting confiscated is the STORY behind its confiscation.

The other night, on Tuesday, my dad came into the room and told me to stop playing the piano and go to bed. And i was finishing up on playing this really awesome piece that i finally was able to play properly. So when i stood up, i kinda stamped my feet on the floor. As in, happily ya know, cause i managed to play the piece...? And my dad thought i was throwing a tantrum. So he was like, "WHATS WRONG WITH YOU! WHY ARE YOU THROWING A TANTRUM HUH?" which generally translates to, "ni bu shuang ah?!"

I WAS NOT THROWING A FIT.

Then, since i couldnt reply within his 30 second time frame, he got madER and was like, "NEXT TIME YOU THROW A FIT, IM GONNA PUNCH YOU TILL YOUR MOUTH BLEEDS. I DONT CARE. YOU BETTER LEARN SOME RESPECT." this was all said in Tagalog, of course. I was just stunned.

Why? Because i was trying to find words to tell him i wasnt throwing a fit, and because... Because... BECAUSE he threatened to punch me... And you know what was running through my head? "he doesnt love me."

THANK GOD. For once, im happy that my mom was around. She fought with my dad, telling him it was wrong to hit a girl, and that NO, don't do anything rash. (because i had exams) My dad came to me - strode up to me - and was like "I DONT CARE IF YOU HAVE EXAMS OR NOT. NEXT TIME, NEXT TIME YOU'RE GONNA GET IT FROM ME. I. DONT. CARE." [readers i am not exaggerating. i am NOT.]

and holy shit. okay. i am VERY sick and tired of my own home. i get constant nagging everyday. And, not only that, the slightest mistake of my actions could result in a slap or something. Which is why i tend to lock myself up anywhere there's a lock, e.g. my bathroom. And i just CRY. I've lost the one place a normal person would find solace - my home.

Let me elaborate on the slightest mistake. For example, if my dad is talking to me and like, i roll my eyes -not at him but i "rolled" it to look at another direction..- he would get seriously mad and think im rude. And i might get a slap. And that results in a no-conversation barrier between us for one day.

You guys, i am not exaggerating. This is my life everyday. So i have to watch my emotions, watch my words, watch my tone, watch my actions. And you know what, sometimes i feel like my whole life at home is just an act. I have to act like the perfect daughter to the strictest parents in the world. I have to act like the super clean, dont say "shit". dont make too much noise kind of kid. THATS MY LIFE AT HOME. And if i dont follow the rules, well then, that results in a punishment, and a lecture, and my treasured possessions taken away from me.

WHAT KIND OF LIFE IS THIS. guys, i dont know why im suddenly opening up, but since i already have, will you please please PLEASE help me.

sometimes i just wanna run away from it all. sometimes i just wanna run into your arms and cry my troubles away....

here we go again...



1. Thanks Ms Ho for your words of encouragement!! haha. but its too late. im ALREADY sick. T.T Don't worry, i'll bring my own medicine. haha. free flow of panadol! nahhhh jkjk.



2. stupid STUPID STUPID fever is gonna worsen my chinese grades. Although chinese compo didnt kill me, chinese paper TWO will. i mean, i could barely concentrate on studying today. Headache! and then, i JUST remembered that there will be a cheng yu part to the test. crap.



3. Gericho Miguel Ocampo Ferrer im so sorry i couldnt go to your confirmation. its really cause im sick. dont be mad. but i still expect YOU to come for MINE. wakakakaka. GOD BLESS.



4. TERMINAL THREE rocks. its so glass-ish. and reflective. ooh-la-la. And there's so much to do inside. it's like a carpeted JFK. cause JFK doesnt have carpets. hahaha.



5. Kevin. STOP. coming to my blog. you're getting all the lucky hits. yeah, i know you're psychic so stop showing off. XP Let other people be the lucky one yeaaaa.



6. SORE THROAT makes a fever worse. i mean, fever is just feeling weak and hot. But sore throats, THEY ARE IRRITATING. and if you have a cold, and you sneeze, it makes your throat hurt like hell.



7. CHINESE IS GOING TO BE THE ULTIMATE DOWNFALL OF ME.



8. Parkway Parade probably has the fever bug. like, i went there, and BAM! there's a fever/cold. YuJia went there and BAM! there's a fever. Kaline went there and BAM! there's a fever. that is like, sooooo overrated.



9. Talent time! oh gosh. i want to form a dance crew. but, who will join me?? hmmm... and then there's this NorthEast dance competition. i want to join! the prize = moneyyy. that obviously goes mostly to the school, but who CARES.



10. KK and Eunice are somehow watching me. doesn't that sound UBER creepy. i mean, ewww. Stalkerazzi much? Yes, im flattered that you think im interesting, but DONT become stalkers. hahahhaa.



11. I need more tissue.



12. I skipped English Oral today, cause i can BARELY talk. so yeah, im going for like a replacement exam or something. Im only gonna go to school for the chinese paper. yay. my head hurts like hell.

13. MIGUEL. what the hell. you're gonna miss the click five concert by ONE DAY.

14. My Friendster is no longer super dead. And im proud of it. YAYNESS.

15. this is the end of this long checklist.

WHAT THE HELL.

Kevin got another lucky number. 400. OMG. Kevin what is wrong with you. that isnt PSYCHIC. thats PSYCHO. omg.

Sorry Gericho Miguel Ocampo Ferrer. hehe. im sorry i cant go for your confirmation. GOD BLESS YOU in advance. Its actually cause im SICK, and i have Mid Years so im really sorry. i really wanna go though. Cause there's free food. JOKE LANG!!

Actually, what irritated me most was when i was asking my mom.... i was just beginning to say "Mommy, Gericho is inviting us for dinner tomorrow-" and i havent even said the whole sentence and she was like "DONT YOU HAVE EXAMS? HUH? AND ARENT YOU SICK? RIGHT? HUH?" wthhhhhh. i wasnt even DONE. it was soooo rude or her part. cant she see how that HURTS me.

I have to study now. Science while my doctor grandma is here. Shes gonna teach me BIO. omg.

CIAOOO.

and DELVIS. GO ROLLERBLADING!!

omg.

some guy on Alvin's blog said that... someone was trying to ignore me by sleeping and blahblahblah. thing is, i dont even know this guy. grossness. (name - tRolL3d)

right okay.

Huiying, Florence and Alvin also gossiping bout me on Alvin's blog. haha. this one = no harm.

Yeah i am a netball player, since P3. Captain since P5. haha.
And YES im very very very squirmy.

TRY AND CATCH ME.

OMG mid years are HERE. right HERE.

NOW. red alert.

and today's gonna be English Compre. Why do i get the feeling that this is some MAJOR exam. PSLE style. oh gosh.

Chinese compo shall be my ultimate defeat. my downfall. I dont even REMEMBER why i chose to take HCL in secondary. It's like, how the hell am i gonna survive now??
But i must persevere. Should just take up the challenge.

I FINALLY UPDATED FRIENDSTER. omg. my friendster has been dead for long, and i began clearing it up today. I added people, refused people, cleared out messages.. etc. and uploaded pictures. yep.

My blog hits has hit 300. too bad i dont know who 300 was. lol. AIM FOR A THOUSAND.

TALENT TIME. i want to form a DANCE CREW. cuz im a dancer at heart, not a singer. HA. who wants to join me??

edited.

Went to Popular to buy stuff just now. i ran out of pen ink. OMG. So i bought a new one. haha.

because of Cinderalla 2 and 3, CINDERELLA the original is FOREVER ruined. egads!

shall continue studying now. CIAOOO.

waiting right here by the phone.

nothing much to talk about today. just that i felt super sick during tuition. like, teacher was right in front of me, and i could barely understand her words. i kept asking for REPEATS. so blur man.

and the server was down just now. for EARTH DAY. stupid California. stupid West Coast. its time zone is so slow. urgh.

im irritating myself right now. trying to make those nice nice patterns on the Rubiks cube. Bleuch.

David Archuleta ROCkS. hes popular. hes hot. hes cute. but hes so far away. oh and he resembles Zac Efron. but he's way better than Zac. okay. yeah.

OMG. People in Anglican know me. but... i dont know them. what the hell. they know me because of some rumors spreading. *gasp*

today, our geography teacher didnt come, so we got a substitute. Her name was Mrs Goh. she was really erm.. LOUD. and her hair, was ORANGE. so frickin cool. but she was fierce. and well, i slept for about half an hour during her time cause we could do our own things. and i was TIRED. so i slept. and i only woke up when Ms Ranita came in and like, tapped my table. haha.

i took 16 home today. it was SO much faster than any other bus. i was home (yes HOME) in twenty minutes. cool. i should have stopped at Coffee Bean in Leisure Park. but oh well.

waiting. just waiting for you.

Maybe someday i should be a journalist or editor or something. sounds cool. and im a "words person". LOL. idk what that means.

Chinese shall be my downfall for MYEs. omg. its so gonna kill me. and Physics too maybe. yeah. Im gonna work hard for these. i NEED to get a pass or like, a B4 for these. BLAHS.

Talent Time is coming up. Should i join? But i aint gonna sing thats for sure. Yeah, apparently i can sing, but im not doing it. Maybe i'll do dance. But i need a group. HA.

Okay i'll stop procrastinating so much, and start doing my work.
Tomorrow, i'll try and wake up early, and run. I really miss running. and i cant wait for 2.4km. YEAH.

I rearranged my links in such a way that it is nicely ALPHABETICAL. Dont think im favoring anyone. Specially YOU. yeah you know who you are. AHEM.kevin.delvis.AHEM.

Had a bio test today. WILL flunk it. DelvisChemistry test yesterday, ALMOST flunked it. DelvisPhysics test last week, ALREADY flunked it. Delviswhat the hell.


Nothing much happened today. SUPER boring. Mdm Maglina was nice today though. let us do an impromptu practical cause it was our last lesson. SCONES ROCK. Delvis

HUIXIAN was my 200th hit. She shall get that hug from Kevin that i was supposed to give to him. NAH. she wont. thats mean. She'll get something else when i think of it. ((:

edited.Delvis

DELVIS MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. and your name shall be all over my blog. XD i think 12 times.

When you told me that you loved me Were those just words? You cant tell me you dont need me And i know that hurts Cause im looking at your picture Cause its all i've got Maybe one day you and me will have One more shot...



Im like, so ARGHed right now. I hate myself for procrastinating right here, right now, instead of studying. And i had tuition just now... TU-ee-TION.



Okay so for once, i will talk about what happened IN school.



Start of the day, pretty much BORING. Nothing much. Recess was, just another eat-EAT-eat time... After recess though, everyone became really worried about Chemistry test. omg. I studied, a little. So yeah, i was one of those worried people. After the test though was LUNCH. best period of the day. It was fun. I'll make another paragraph cuz it deserves its own crappy paragraph.



LUNCH. I went to say hi to Delvis. With Florence. idk. For fun i guess. Then, since i was still feeling sick from the gory pics Ms Annisa showed us, i just asked my friend to help me save a spot in the queue. Then i went back to Florence and Delvis and Kevin. And then Alphonso came. DELVIS I HATE YOU. Moving on... I went back to the queue and bought FOOD. duh. And then I sat with YanLing, Chantel, Kaline, Yu Heng and ermm. (someone next to me i forgot. SORRY.)

After lunch, i went to Florence, who was erm.. "following" Delvis, Kevin and Alphonso. I was like, WTH. Stalkerazzi much? She asked me to follow them, but i was like, NO WAY. So i just walked around for abit. Talked to people. Suddenly, my phone rang. It was FLORENCE. She asked me to go to 4JT classroom. I thought it was harmless so i was ON my way, when i saw some friends, so i talked to them. ANOTHER call. "dont come up. i think you should stay at old block and canteen there..." I asked why. "the guys looking for you liao. idk why. manhunt... alphonso also missing liao..." I was so freaked. and confused. WHY was Alphonso being mentioned?? But anyway, i sat with my friends at the Concourse tables. Near the 4JT staircase place thingy. Then i saw RACHEL coming down. She had this evil smile plastered on her face, and it looked like she was watching out for someone. And finally, i asked her, "Rachel, do you know about this too? Are you in on this too?!"
She nodded. OMG. crunch time.
Finally, Florence came down with Delvis i think. And like, she was saying, "THERE SHE IS!" Obviously, i tried to run away. and i succeeded. HA. and i hid at the canteen there. yay! noone could find me. nyanyanyanya (((: RAWR. why did everyone gang up on me?? *sobs*

yeah that was my Crazy stupid day. It was weird.

I shall STOP procrastinating now, and RE-start doing my Art thingy. ACK. its due TOMORROW. rawr.

OMG. KEVIN GOT MY 100th HIT!

I WILL NOT HUG HIM.

OR ahem-HIM.

SHUT UP KEVIN.

SHUSHHHH ABOUT IT.

OH MY GOSH.

blog hit counter is gonna reach 100 SOON. wonder who's the lucky person. 100th hitter, if i know you, shall get a hug from ME. ha. no thats not appealing is it?

im gonna go to Sentosa later. RAWR. its gonna be BOR-iiinnnnggggg. But, wth, its gonna be sometime AWAY from home. yay.

Im wearing my AWESOME army pants and my RED Abercrombie & Fitch shirt. yay. its so cool. i love my army pants.

I WANT TO GO TO THE CLICK FIVE CONCERT. i dont care. i will drag anyone to come with me.

OOHHH and im bringing my roller blades to Sentosa. Cool ehhh?? But like, so lonely if im faster than everyone. OH WELL. i'll bring it! haha.

Shall go noowwww.

COFFEE BEAN ROCKS. ciaooo.

Coffee Bean rocks. theres like, nothing to do now. NOTHING. exept study. I feel so proud of myself, cuz i finally filed up everything, neatly, nicely, PERFECTLY. im tan orgulloso de me.
You know, someday, i'd like to hang out in Coffee Bean for almost an entire afternoon with some friends studying. But, the management wont allow us. stupid sign.

Born Helena Jane With a restless soul She moved west to California Became a Center-Fold But once you change your name Well the pieces fall Now she hardly recognizes herself at all.

Im going to the States next summer i think. Yeah, visit my little 2nd cousin in Boston. I want to go to the Click Five concert. RAH.

And there’s never any rain, when you want it A hollow little game, and you’ve won it Looking for a thrill but you’ve done it all So long, put your blue jeans back on girl Go home Remember Hollywood’s not America.

I like that guy so much. But i still can never show him what i really feel. It just doesnt seem like this will end in a fairytale. But he DOES know who i really am. The side that only my closest friends know. Cause i dont have to act when im with him. Its not some silly little game.

And everybody heres, from somewhere else You could make a million dollars, but you might lose yourself And you can take the heat will your heart go cold They say acting’s just pretending, even that gets old.

Im still overly obsessive over Twilight. Edward EDWARD rocks my world. Ive seen clips from the movie set. AWESOME. i cant wait for the finished product. Though Jacob could look a little more Jacob-yyy.

And there’s never any rain, when you want it A hollow little game, and you’ve won it Looking for a thrill but you’ve done it all So long, put your blue jeans back on girl Go home Remember Hollywood’s not America.

MYEs are seriously just around the corner. And i dont really know how to study. Well, i do. Just that i cant be bothered to. I mean, the only things that i have left to really study for are Chinese and ScienceS... Geography is over. And History is just a project.. WHAT is there to study. And as much as I talk about MYEs, i just get irritated when people go right up to you and say "OMG MYEs are here. have you studied? i havent blahblahblah."

And I know what to do when I know that you You can be anything you want to be So long, put your blue jeans back on girl Go home Remember Hollywood’s not America So long put your blue jeans back on girl Go home Remember Hollywood’s not America

SLEEPOVERS. i miss them. I miss watching bimbotic chick flicks that brainwash you, followed by the upbeat tracks from our beloved dance movies, leaving us with a classic like Pride and Prejudice. I miss sharing that blanket thats barely big enough to cover half of us, and the crazy fights of sleeping space. I miss waking up in the afternoon, thinking its still morning. I miss sharing our crazy little secrets late at night, only to forget them the next day.

Hollywood’s not America It’s not America

I seriously know now that i dont know how to handle BIG things. like, HUGE serious things. like, if you tell me you have Leukemia, i'd just FREEZE. i wouldnt know what to say. OMG. thats all.


I miss him so much. Shouldnt jump to conclusions. He was JUST talking. thats all. DONT jump to conclusions. RAWR. He's so fun to be with though. YEAH.


i have nothing to talk about. Just the fact that MYEs are gonna kill me.

Because i am NICE and because FLORENCE asked me to, i shall do this quiz thingy-magig.
You, whoever i tagged, is supposed to do this quiz TOO, but changing question20 into your OWN personal question. THEN, you're suppose to tag 10 people, telling them to do the quiz too. simple enough?

1. At what age do you wish to be married?
After 20. Duh. And only after like, 3 years of dating or something.
2.If you were to be stranded on a deserted island, who are the 3 blog buddies you'd take and why?
DENISE, ARIEL and _______(secretXD) Because, they dont complain, are SO fun to be with, and i trust them to take care of me and not eat me when i die.
3. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
If a country , The States and Alaska cause there's so much to see. Europe aint bad either. But a non-existent place, would be HOME.
4. If you can have 1 dream come true, what would it be?
To have an eternity to spend, as long as my friends go with me. OR be some great Italian superstar with lots of cash. HA.
5. Do you believe you can survive without money?
Yeah sure i guess. I wouldnt survive without my phone and text messaging, which requires money. Oh well then, i CANT survive without money.
6. What are you afraid to lose the most?
My humanity, the ability to make mistakes. And my family and closest friends.
7. If you win $ 1 Million, what would you do?
Wow, never in a million years. I'd invest, earn, donate, SAVE.
8. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
Sure, but only after i build up my confidence. (:
9. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
CRAZY, HONEST, SMART. yes being crazy is good.
10. What requirement you wish from your other half?
Nothing. Cause that's why i love him. -low maintenance-
11. What kind of person you hate the most?
backstabbers/obnoxious people/liars/extraaa/JERKS/wanna-be people.
12. If you are given the chance to go back to the past and make a difference, will you?
MOST DEFINITELY. i made some mistakes that i'd like to change, and i want to do things i didnt do back then. But if you think about it, if i did and didnt do those things, would i be here??
13. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. What does it mean to you?
Love. thats it. Without any strings attached, nor any fine print.
14. Why are there so many idiots and morons on this world?
Because... without them, it'd be hard to tell who's smart and who isn't.
15. If there's ever a war(or things that are similar) happening in your place, are you going to move to a safer place, or fight?
Move. Run. Walk away. Hide away. Then PRAY.
16. If you have the chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
My super-blondeness sometimes. And the fact that i sometimes can be a bit too over the top. And sometimes, being myself isn't enough, so i wish i could kinda get along with everybody without changing too much...
17. Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?
ARIEL, DENISE, DETTE, ALPHONSO, BEN LOKE. they're more than 1 person yeah, but i trust them all (:
18. What's your weakest point?
SLACKER all the way. And im a sucker for cute smiles (:
19. What's the thing that you're most proud of?
Being who i am, cause being me, means being PINOY and being a GIRL. things to be proud of.
20. What do you hope for in the future?
Oh man. I hope everything in the world will get sorted out, we'll overcome global warming. I'll have my fairytale ending with the man i love, kids, grandkids, whatever. Oh and i'll be successful. whooo. And i'll still be friends with my closest friends since we were 3. yep.

OMG. MYEs are coming. I feel so stressed.



I shall put my life in number point form, so that it looks neat.



1. I keep getting scolded for the stupidest reasons. E.g. Not putting the house phone back onto the charger. WTH right?



2. Geography project is due soon. We're all chionging it. It's quite fun, but tiring. RAWR.



3. Physics is officially the most confusing subject in the world.



4. I realized that usually, when you like someone, it's cause they like you back (regardless whether as a sibling or whatever) because... HYPOTHETICAL CASE. A likes B. A will be nice to B cause he likes B. B sees how nice A is. B likes A cause he's nice and everything. Thus, A likes B and B falls in love with A! TADAAHH.



5. I am seriously lagging on my English Self-Study. I cant seem to find a way to motivate myself to do it.



6. SHE irritates me sometimes. Like, she's sooo obnoxious. And extraaaa. But other than that, shes okay. Just that when she tells me something, and i try to find out MORE, she'll suddenly change some detail of the story which were kind of the KEY POINTS. it's irritating. and she's so RUDE and UNtrustworthy. Did i mention, IMMATURE. she HAS to grow up.



7. There were fireworks yesterday. In front of my house. In honor of the SINGAPORE FLYERRRR. it was awesome.



8. I have a feeling i have homework to pass up tomorrow, but then again i always have that feeling. HA. slacker. I learned from you. (((:



9. Noone calls me anymore. I barely have loooong text conversations anymore. WHY? i dont bite... waaaaaaaaaaahhh.



10. Stress is such a huge factor in everyone's lives. It can put strains on anything from friendships to studies. It brings out the WORSE in people. Aint that sad? Im glad you're always here for me.



11. MYEs are coming up and i havent really studied. Im trying hard to motivate myself, studying whenever i can. It's getting easier to revise now, and i really want to do my best. I shall work HARD.



12. James Blunt is coming of the 13th of May. Click Five is coming on the 1st of June. Anyone interested in going with me??

13. Tests are coming up, right before MYEs. how, convenient. Chemistry, Biology.... RAWR.

14. I'm sorry for getting mad at you. And i dont care how vulgar you were in response. Just that, we barely talk anymore at all. We barely have time! You have your French and everything, which results in me having to call LATE at night, at which point you are studying or sleeping. Which is whyyyy, we NEED a sleepover PRONTO.

15. What's a dance of a flame without fire? Where were you when my needs were dire? How can one live, without hope, fear and fire? To HOPE for a better tomorrow, that our dreams will be fulfilled. To FEAR for the safety of those we love, and for our oncoming challenges, to fear that we may someday need to stand on our own two feet. To have FIRE, the burning desire to chase after our dreams, to have that passion in ourselves.

16. I need to see my primary school dears soon, or im gonna die. Im living so far away from them, that it's almost impossible to see them.

17. I need to find motivation to study. I dont need cheerleaders. I need that spirit. But where?

18. I love him so much it hurts to look at him. To know that he may not like me back. he may NEVER like me back. He's always on my mind. He makes me smile with his words alone. He brigthens up my day, and makes time pass so quickly. Time does fly.

19. I need that support to get through tough times. I cant just go to anyone, i have to really trust that someone. As i mentioned before, people i trust are ARIEL, DETTE, DENISE, ALPHONSO and BEN LOKE. thing is... Ariel is constantly busy. Dette is in another country. Denise is almost always there. Ben Loke barely has time. Alphonso is busy (:

20. I shall make myself learn how to be a better IT whiz. HA.

So much going on, and i dont want to drag my trustables down with me. They got their problems. I'll solve mine on my own i guess. BUT i will NOT resort to becoming a slasher.

wont you ever look my way and tell me what you feel?

whooo Bazaar was yesterday. i feel lazy to post, but i'll post anyways.

okay so i arrived in school at 7.45am. a purposeful delay. i did everything so slow. it was kinda funny. anyway, in school, we were blowing up balloons. and we blew up quite alot.

later, we began to set up downstairs. at 9.20am, the drinks came and the uncle taught us how to serve the things and stuff. it was my shift to do mobile at 10am, so we began to put the drinks in cups. we began business at 9.35am. QUITE early i know, but people were buying from us already cause it was sooo effing hot.

anyway, as a mobile person, i have to walk around with this stupid thing on my neck, and sell the drinks. i sold so much in so little time. we ran out of stock 3/4 through my shift, so i got to walk around a bit. i walked around, talked to people, and then helped out a little at the game stall. i sprayed Edgar alot.

ooohhh okay. after that, second shift came. not my shift. duh. but we sold out in that shift in 1 hour. haha. and it was raining. and cold. i was like, why the hell are people buying drinks now?!?! but oh well. we sold out, officially, by 2.30pm. AWESOME.

lets talk about the rain. it was raining so hard, that the water was up to everyone's ankles. i walked around in shoes for a while, but then gave up, so i took off my shoes and walked barefooted. i splashed in the water. hahaha. he was there.

it was seriously fun playing in the rain. splash here. and i got sprayed at the games stall with the water guns. we changed our game from "shoot the bottles" to "shoot the PEOPLE". ah it was fun. some small little boy won the HUGE prize of dvd player. OMG.

well, im so proud of 1EP for selling out, and bonding over this Bazaar. we've raised funds, and became closer to each other.

Haunted house, we were singing inside. and the people inside got angry at us. they were like, "you think its funny is it?! huh?!" i was like, omg WTH. but we came out laughing anyway.

i had so much fun, and it was awesome. despite the pain i was left with, i still dont mind it.

im watching Bionic Woman now. its fun. i like him alot. Went to Hooters
for lunch. *gasp* hahahaha. ARIEL im sorry for not waiting. your fault for not
sitting with me. yep thats about it today. but im supremely blur, and SOMEONE is
just making it worse. GRR. i shall try and focus more on MYEs now, studying
whenever i can, and limiting computer usage to 1.5hours a day.

i love you. please, realize that. i cant tell you straight away, but you get the hints, and the answers are right there. please, think think about it. i'll wait.

OMGoshhhh.

MYE are coming up. yikes.

what to do.. i need motivation to study, and studying in groups doesnt really help me. 2 people yes maybe it might help.

just came back from school. had bazaar preps again today. was more productive. like, we got the banner up, stall up, mobile boxes up and the posters up too. yay!

haha. okay. lets see. tomorrow, be in school by 7.30AM. oh gosh. like a normal school day. wannnnnk.

oh you know, today, some guy from 4DL got dunked as a "trial run". it was funny. cant wait to see the teachers. erm. my hands are white and yellow now. wont really come off. gah.

Nothing much to say. just that im freaking out for MYEs. what if i flunk something. ahhhhh. flunk is a better word than fail, just to note.

lets talk about SERIOUS. 1. my phone needs serious care. 2. i have serious neatness issues. 3 i have serious slacking problems. HA. serious serious serious.

PEOPLE SUPPORT 1 EMPATHY!

gosh i love him so much.

hmm. nothing left to say. just my targets for MYEs.

English - A2
Maths - A1
Sciences (bio/phys/chem) - A2
History{based on project} - A1
Geography {project} - A1
HCL - B4
Literature - A2

yep. my targets. wow. alot of As. better start mugging soon. oh and my phone needs some serious money in it.

and i need some serious cash money. ka-ching.

love you so much and i wish you knew.
love you so much and i hope you do too.

IS IT YOU?

hes so perfect.

today we had bazaar preparation. i got spray paint and enamel paint all over my hands and arms. none in my hair today (:

we managed to do the menu, and the big EMPA-TEA sign thingy. Joey and Ee Lin came along to see us. haha. and this was done in this small field near the geography room. and like, so many classes were there. haha.

okay, next thing, i came home, and i fell asleep after lunch. well, not really. after watching a bit of TV. haha. the show was soo boring. then i woke up, and practised my piano. whoooo. then i played with my rubics cube cuz there was simply nothing left to do.

i still have homework. ack. red alert.

okay, maybe i'll post later again. im getting more hope on the fact that he might like me. yes. ARIEL, you spammed my tagboard. well no not really. you just showed everyone who reads my blog how spastic you really are ((:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEN LOKE AND SABINA. happy thirteenth.

still hoping for that answer...

im blogging today. yay me.

the wonders of msn. i managed to pass on the message of the bazaar to 40 people in under 1 hour. actually, less than 30minutes. awesome.

nothing much today.

CLICK FIVE IS COMING TO SINGAPOREEEE!!!

im happy.

Summer they are NOT fags!

lala. noone to talk to. nothing to do. i think i have homework. but i think i've done them anyway. haha. lol. gah.

nothing much to say today. so i'll leave it at this.

i love you so much it hurts.
i want to tell you what i feel.
but im afraid.
im afraid that we'll lose it all.
our friendship is everything.

agh. i got stranded in school from 4-6pm. AGH.

KEVIN, i have your umbrella ella ella eh.

anyway, it was not that bad a day today. it was relatively CHEERFUL. whoooo. im happy.

oh gosh. i saw him so many times today. it was cool.

oh yeah, SEC 4 did great haha. persevered through the heavy rain to finish 2.4km.
Congrats to *drum roll* KANGKIAT, KEVIN, QINGRU and ALPHONSO. good job guys.

it was kinda boring today. haha. normal school curriculum. but AFTER school was the best....

We had Maths supplementary until 3.30pm. Me and Kaline stayed back after for no reason really, intending to do work i guess. So we put our things down at Concourse, then we went to iCafe for some drinks. (go milo dinosaur) wheeeee. okay. then we were going back to the Concourse when we saw.....

RACHEL!!i shall put it in big,red blod letters cause shes so great(:

haha okay. yes, hi rachel. she suggested we play basketball. actually, i have no idea who suggested what but we ended up playing basketball. haha. rachel and i almost left our phones in the court. ah.

AT THE COURT, we saw KK running past and we were like "stranger goooo" haha. yep. hes a stranger. he didnt even look. grrr. not a very nice person right? haha just KIDDING.
Then next we saw, KEVIN running. and i was like "Kevin!" once and he didnt care. So i started jumping and jumping and shouting. then finally he looked at me. haha. funny. he was like, what the hell.
then we saw ALPHONSO. doing not too bad. nyanya(: okay. so you see, there were like, 2 people just a TINY bit infront of him, so might as well try and outrun them right? So i shouted "JiaYou!" once. no response. huh. okay so "JiaYou" 2nd time, louder, finally look. haha. yes. absolutely awesome hearing. Then, keep shouting JIAYOU and GO and CHIONG with Kaline, until he outran those 2 people.
YAY TO ALL OF YOU!

then err. uh, started to rain HEAVILY. so Kaline and i ran back to the Concourse, where we tried to do our homework. keyword = TRIED. the rain made it unsuitable to study, thus we walked around. but, as we were tired, we decided to walk around the new block classrooms. haha. bumped into Kevin on 2nd floor near his class. kevin you're wet. so just talk there with kaline. I was part talking, part smsing, part watching these birds play in the mud below. it was fascinating, strangely. Talked to several wet people. haha. DRIPPING wet. or slightly wet. Kevin's hair stands up even if it's wet. i just realised.

"i'm so hot, can make the rain evaporate." - Kevin

Talked to Ee Lin and Renia and Alphonso and KK. Renia was fascinated by my name. haha. she was like, so cool la. i want that name. HAHA. gah. waited for rain to stop. then KK came back, to get his wallet. apparently he ran around looking for it. funny. then Kevin had it. But didnt call him earlier to tell him. oh well.

Finally when the rain stopped, or was only a drizzle, started walking to canteen gate. but not before taking umbrella from Kevin. lucky i took it. cause, it began to rain nearer to my house. gah. it was so wet. not nice weather. huhhhhh. the umbrella got wet.

so yep, that was the day. im sure it was much more interesting than when i type it out, but i just have a problem with being descriptive.

I'm drowning my sorrows in icecream. what sorrows? the fact that im slightly depressed, im so desperate, im irritated, and im tired.

my brain is hurting. my legs are in pain.
my heart is breaking. and im going
insane.
PATHETIC. i can be.
for i sit next to the phone.
throughout the afternoon.
waiting for that sms.
that might clear up this mess.
too desperate i am.
for your love to come my way.

DESPERATE.

the clock keeps ticking.
as my icecream tub empties.

Today has been boring. just simply waiting for that text message. where is he? i was again in trouble, for being just a little bit too ARGUE-ative. yes. i was in trouble for that.

TESTS
---Chinese.
---Geography
---History

The reality of having to live. Clock keeps ticking. The Bazaar is coming up. i havent done much.

i've been feeling emo. not even my music can help. not even when my fingers play the soft keys on the piano, playing the tunes of my favorite pieces. not even then. not even when i look at my friends, smiling. not even when i try to write.

speaking of writing. I have not updated my fanfiction. WHY. because noone's reviewing. thus, i will not post the newer chapters till then. yes. it irritates people. but it aint my fault. noone's reviewing.
darling, you can tell we are two parallel lines.
i feel like following in the MILEY AND MANDY SHOW example. well not following per se. ive always wanted to make some kind of weird, home-video podcast. but who to make it with? people i know tend not to like being in front of a camera. yes. how sad.

DEAR SURREPTITIOUS


i'd like to know who you are.. someday.
you can email or msn me at anna_cheska@hotmail.com yeah?


everyone does have problems dont they?

Surreptitious: hey. I was just blog hopping and
I came across your posts. You're in a dilemma. I mean everyone has problems
right? even me. I just want to help and say, you should love yourself too. Be
strong and be happy. If you're happy, those who really care would too. Cheer up
okay. You can cry, I do that too but be strong and soon you'll have no need to
cry all the time. Be happy okay. oh and don't be afraid too confront prince
charming. you might need a person like him in these times but do you need a
stead? ask yourself and i'll hope you really make the right choice.
=)

Thanks for your advice seriously. I dont need a stead. but it would be nice if he was it. but i am afraid to confront him. i'll try to be strong. i will love myself (: i will be happy. i did need him once. and he was there for me. is that good then...

hmm. surreptitious, i'd like to see your blog someday =)

xoxo.

I feel SPASTIC.













I wanted to go swimming, then i realised i'd get brownER.













There's nothing much going on. Hmm. I updated my phone playlist, but i really wanna switch PHONES. god. cuz mine has this dent from dropping it too much. whooops. oh and i woke up twice today. it was weird. first one was at 3am. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I WOKE UP. then i replied an sms that was sent at 12am. i thought it was 12am. then i was like, OH. its 3am. haha but he replied anyway. i said i had no idea why i woke up, and he was like, THEN SLEEP. hmph. then i woke up again at 5am. Tempted to sms him to disturb HIS sleep. but yeah, i decided not to waste my remaining $17 in my phone. so i went back to sleep... haha. yep thats my interesting life.




Gonna see my friends later. hopefully. But i feel like such a ZOMBIE that i doubt i'll have THAT much fun. But i must make it fun. Cuz i need fun.

You say: I think he will like you. Cause you're so cute. And so random. And
you guys can talk about almost anything.
I say: I agree. But there's still that little bit of doubt.

I say: i have this feeling that if i tell him, he wont ignore me. It wont
be weird. We'l be happy together
You say: But do you really want a stead now?

What to do... Im lazy to do work. Im lagging behind on English self study. OH ARIEL. im learning CLAIRE DE LUNE. be jealous. its beautiful.


oh i know. i'll post some random pictures....

The sun on Sports Day. Let it shine on you.

On the roof of Vivocity. Beautiful. I wished you were there with me.

I want him to be mine. Yet, i cant find a way to tell him. It's the hardest question i've ever thought about. He's always constantly in my mind. He always constantly talks to me. Yet, i can't find the words to say how much he means to me.

ARGH.

Im wet.

Cause i walked and RAN in the rain.

whooo.

yay me=)

Okay now to more serious stuff....

ITS APRIL. omg it just HIT me. its APRIL. this year is passing by soo fast. and in some ways, its actually a good thing? anyway, ITS APRIL. gosh.

I miss MARCH. gahhh. but oooooh. my birthday is COMING. soon. 31 July people! must REMEMBER.

omg.

Ramiele Malubay. so sad. you got eliminated.

WHERES THE PINOY PRIDE!!

agh. i feel irritated.

i still miss him. Im obsessed. hes so perfect though. i wanna know what he thinks of me... that would be awesome if i found that information out.

I still have reports to do >.<

lalalalalallalalalalalalaa.

well,i think thats all for now. But anyway, yeah. heres my feelings right NOW.

SAD. THOUGHTFUL. slightly DEPRESSED. ANXIOUS for his sms. TIRED from netball.

hmmmm. its all negative. oh well.

OMG.

I'm like a walking, talking, ZOMBIE.

Actually, i dont talk. i mumble. and point. but i still walk. yep. ZOMBIE.

I got so little sleep in the past 3 days cause i've been chionging homework. I keep coming home late. So irritating...

But atleast i got somethings done and OVER with. home econ practical

But i still have stuff to do...
English Report Corrections
Art Report
Art Mural thingy
Home Econ Report
Geography Report
Bazaar Flyers and Posters

i'm like, such a slacker lately. And i just used up about $15 of my phone money in a week. omg.

So nothing's been up the last few days. But im soo hooked on All Time Low, and the usual Jack's Mannequin. Ahaha, and my class is super addicted to Gunther and "Hypnotized" by Akon.

you got me so hypnotized...

yes he has.

I NEED TO GO OUT!. this stress is gonna kill me if i dont have fun SOME DAY. would people please organize something.. Unless you DO want me to die.

And ah, Bazaar is coming up so i have to make flyers and posters and stuff. lalalalala. ohkay. ima stop SLACKING and PROCRASTINATING now.

but im still waiting for you right here.

still waiting.

OMG. that post was super long. whoops-ee-daisy.

Anyway,

dear Steph (1RP),
don't beat yourself up over the match, its okay. its a TEAM game, so it cant just be YOUR fault. win together, LOSE together, TEAMmates.

dear Ariel,
we havent eaten lunch together for weeks. and i feel so sad. you also havent texted me recently. gah. okay whatever.

dear Vanessa,
i hope you get better soon. take good care of yourself, and sleep and sleep. Sweat the fever out too. its a good home remedy. come back to school soon, cause i wanna see you again =)

dear Tomomi,
thanks for staying up with me and doing the home econ report with me. haha, such a great team player you are. thanks alot.

dear Denise,
dont worry so much if your party will suck or whatever, you've got a couple of months to plan it. just invite me kay? i dont mind what you do!

dear Miguel,
yeah you're going away soon. and pag-balik mo, kailangan makaka salita ka na ng tagalog. HA. wish you all the best okay? and make sure that you keep in touch with ME cuz i've known you my whole life and it'd be weird just to POOF away. but yeah whatever >.<

dear Ben,
yeah i havent forgotten about you. it's your birthday soon and i hope you will spend it happily. enjoy your "new" sec1 life okay?? and i really hope to see you soon, just as with every other ex-Meridian. we were classmates for like 3 years. haha. there's so much to miss.

dear Hilman,
yeah we ruled the Jupiter squad! haha. our batch was the best batch and i cant believe we lost our newfound glory. No matter, it's not really our business anymore. Hope to meet up with you again soon.

dear Amira,
we ended last year kinda horribly. and im sorry for whatever i did. It was not intentional and i really dont know why you are ignoring me. please can we be friends again? i want you back as a friend, and i promise not to be bad again...

dear Alphonso,
thanks for being nice the other night, my other friends, im pretty sure they were insensitive, and yeah i kinda crash-landed on the nearest person. sorry. SORRY loads. you were in no position really to get that from me. but thanks anyway. AND, you did that "kind act" thingy by encouraging me too! haha. oh and im doing "kind act" thingy for THANKING you. yay.

The last one was longest, cuz i was rambling. haha, letters to friends and SIGNIFICANT others. yes you guys rock. and i realised thanking people for the littlest things makes you feel better on the inside. SERIOUSLY. it helps. therapy. and it shows how much you care about someone, like whether you guys are friends STILL or whether you guys arent on good terms.