RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
We lost Netball Interclass match to 1FG.like
omgggggggg D:
*sigh*
it was a good match i guess...
(refusing to comment too much for fear of being hunted down and shot.)But i just hope that we have a chance at
THIRD place atleast..
SHULING YOU MUST THANK ME.for cleaning that super super
RED netball!
(netballs arent supposed to be so red btw.)haha.
if you guys are wondering
WHY i cleaned that ball.
it's cause i was
sad, mad, angry, FRUSTRATED. and somehow,
the cleaning process helped.
ALOT.
wow am i weird or what!
(please don't answer that. that was rhethorical.)You know what.
some days.
MOST days.
i dont want to come home.WHY ?
because whatever i do at home...
My dad will find SOMETHING to get mad about.Does he not know how much that affects me ?When i first joined netball, and he found out.
He told me it wasn't a real sport.And that i should find something else to join.
Well guess what Dad, i'm proud of what i and my team have achieved.And also,
most dinner meals with him at the table,
result in a heated argument about something.
that well, ruins the whole atmosphere in the house.
I don't go into my parents' room,
nor does he (or my parents) come into mine.
It's a fact of life i guess..
I could go on for days about all he's said,
that has affected me.
That can't seem to get out of my head.
But i won't traumatise you.Because you may not accept any invite to come to my house anymore afterwards.HAHA.not funny.i'm the world's best actress aren't i?I smile alot.
In case you haven't noticed.
But inside,
"i'm just dying" so to speak.
I've supported my friends, and watch their wildest dreams come true.Then i stand back, and be happy for them.But soon, when all conversations are directed ONLY to that dream (or whatever),well then, i'd pretend to be genuinely interested.But inside, you know what.I really dont care.Because, it does not affect me in anyway right ?But i still want my friend to be happy,and there's my smile right there again.yet there's no one there to listen to me.to be my support.. .What the hell is wrong with me.I just made myself sound like a total bitch.
And right now,
I really do believe that what I'm doing is bitchy, selfish. But i don't know any other way to handle it.
Gosh.
well.
my dad's beginning to get pissed off again.
AT WHAT i dont know.i
bet it's my fault again.Like it always seems to be.I really hate my house.
It's supposed to be the one place i can be myself.Well,
in actuality,
it's the one place i can't be.
The place i always have to be on my guard.My defence is shattering.
And the tears are brimming.
One day, one day.
I'll finally break away.
