So, time is speeding fast,
the days are fading past.
nothing we can do,
to make these moments last.

One good friend said recently that i've changed.
How he could know that, i don't know, seeing as he hasn't seen me in months,
but it got me thinking.


I think he's right.


So we'll see now, what's changed with me, that i have managed to pick out myself.

1. Well, this one's pretty obvious. I used to want time to go fast, every day. But now, i'd like to take time and stop at every little thing, just to admire. Another friend's favorite quote is "beauty in the ordinary". And i totally respect that. I think that pretty much sums it up.



2. I changed my judgement of certain things. I used to live to go to school just to see friends/classmates/batchmates. But now, i live to go to school for lessons. Sure, there are some people i'd love to see, but the keyword there is SOME. I guess CCHMS people aren't really for me? Does that mean i wasn't meant for the school? Or is there something really wrong with me?



3. I realised that I was never much to follow trends. Probably in Meridian, so many people had their own style, and cliques were small, so there was a huge variety. In fact, few people had cliques. Everyone mixed with everyone.
Coming into high school was like, being jolted into the world of stereotypes. Cliques are large, gangs are large. And since groups of people tend to act similar, these already-large groups have the same "trends", therefore making it hard AND easy to become your own person.

easy, why? because simply just doing your own thing and rejecting their trends makes you one of a kind.

hard, why? because rejecting their trends would immediately label you a weirdo by the groups you don't follow. so, breaking away or staying still? tough decision.


i decided to break away.



4. I'm definitely more comfortable with who i am now. Sure there are some things i'd like to change, like grow taller and whatever. But being an "alien" in school is kind of okay with me now. As mentioned above, i would still be an alien anyway cause of what i choose to do.



5. I've learnt to trust just a few people, instead of my large group of friends before. You know, out of my large group of friends before, i've only stuck close to a few. 3-4 people from primary school, and 1 from my family friends group. Kinda stinks to some people, but i don't mind. Much easier to share what i really feel.



6. I've been so good at making my own mask lately. Specially this year. I noticed that in my school, as stated in 4, you have to fit in SOMEWHERE to feel like you belong. Well, call me a hypocrite or whatever, but i feel like I belong nowhere, except with myself. It's not that anyone backstabs me, or stuff like that. But it's just that, i feel that i can't get along with anyone. So i stick with myself. Makes sense, right? But if needed, i am able to show just one side of myself, depending on who i'm hanging with. but it's just one side, so it ain't considered KNOWING me.

if you ever wanna get to know me, well, try chilling with me. try understanding me. and well, you'd most likely fail, but it's worth a try.

people are just so easy to read.



7. I got myself thinking more and more. One example would be when i consider buying something expensive (slightly), i used to just think, will i use this? But now, there's a whole new string of questions. It's hard, it gives me a huge headache, but, it's how i am.



8. I'm definitely more expressive now, i don't really care what my mouth says. Of course, i can restrain myself. But sometimes, i think letting go is the best option.



Well, it's a lucky 8 for me.
For anyone else who'd like to tell me how i've changed,
just IM me, leave a tag, or email me.

You all got my contacts, use them.

Here's to the wheel of time and change.