that's Paris you guys.
*deep drawn out sigh*

it's exactly how i imagined it.

i really wanna go now ):




Alright, got back two test papers today.

Chem - B4
Maths - A1

okay, it's not bad right?

But for some reason, i looked at my maths paper and went all quiet and sad.
i felt terrible.

It's soooo not me to want more than I have, especially when it's already so good.
But i wanted more than that A1, i wanted to get higher, top the class or something.
I couldn't understand it at first either, and then it hit me.

I've changed so much.


My brain has been fried in bio-chem-geog juice and coated with hist-lit-math-chinese sauce and served to a big fat green monster that chowedchowedchowed. D:

I'm an emotionless freak and all i can feel is stress.
I feel no empathy, no sympathy, no joy in anything. I cannot fully laugh out loud, i can't break down in tears and cry away my troubles.

i feel nothing.


but i know that this'll all be over soon.



suddenly, i don't feel like going for class chalet.
it's not the money or anything, but it's kinda what the money'll be worth.
i've never spent an entire day with the majority of the people who'll be going, so how can i stand it for 3 days?




sigh.


it's not helping that MYEs start tomorrow, and i'm still here.
here pouring out all this random nonsense.

I'm stressed, and i know it.

i can't find other ways to study.
i feel like i've studied enough, that's what my sane part of me is saying.
of course my insane part is screaming NO IT IS NOT ENOUGH.

then tell me then, dear heart, dear mind, what's enough for you?


Seven days and seven nights of thunder
The waters rising and im slipping under
I think I fell in love with eighth world wonder
-Kimberly Locke (?)

Kristy, Are You Doing OK? - The Offspring

EEEUUURRRRGGHHHHHH.

I'm sick again.

I look bliddy shagged and deadbeat.

Is it because i'm sick?
Or because i really am already shagged and deadbeat?


Anyway, my mom came to pick me up after school today, and we passed these students who were obviously sec one.

Her main differential points were that they still looked fresh and bright, as compared to the tired-looking stressed-out students the rest of the school has.

she's right though.


And it seems like i'm trying to be superwoman by forcing myself to study NOW. Few people are mugging like crazy, and well, i'm one of the few.

Is it too early to mug? Everyone has theories that going too fast too early would eventually cause your engine to fail.

I don't want my engine to die out in the middle of the mountain climb.


Mr M. talked to me after class today.
He said he was very disappointed in my history essay marks. I was too for that matter.
So then he asked me why i was doing so badly. I told him i was just deadbeat and tired.

and that's when I had an epiphany.

maybe I wasn't made to be a mugger. but my psychological program is so screwed that i think i am. and maybe i've been slacking off way too much.

so i can't get it straight.

have i been slacking too much?
or have i been working myself too hard?


help D:

in the meantime, i'll be stuck here at home, feeling awful and miserable and uncomfortable.
sigh.


and bestie, i know you're trying for me, but please stop trying to be superman ):

PEOPLE. STOP.
TELLING. ME.
TO. EAT.
MUSHROOMS.

explanation?

Well you see, Mario eats mushrooms and what happens? HE GETS BIGGER!
and so, if i eat mushrooms, people think i'll get bigger too.

pfft.

incase you've forgotten, Mario also shoots cannons after he's eaten tons of mushrooms.



(during Biology)
(via sms.)

Me: practical for sexual reproduction?
Xinhao: OF COURSE! Who do you want for a partner?
Me: ....
Xinhao: You can do pair work, group work, class effort, or solo. Which one?

Xinhao: Now you know why the chairs in the labs have holes.
Me: Now i know why there are curtains everywhere too.


What an intelligent conversation.



I'd like to announce that Andrew has successfully made something that isn't snot come out of my nose twice so far. And both, i think, were intentional. -.-

"I can't breathe."



Really had so much fun studying today after school for some reason. *big wide grin*

Also have come to the realization that I haven't been spending time with Roi, and we have now fallen back into the pattern of studying after school everyday.

Sigh.

I feel like a bliddy study-freak this year.




and so, that concludes today's chapter of my life.

i might add that I HAVE TWO BLIDDY PIMPLES THAT ARE EWEWEWEWEWYUCK.

this piece is beautiful. 

I know this might just be one stupid little mediocre thing to you, but I couldn't resist posting about this.


I met my first considerate smoker today.

I was out at PlazaSing's carpark cause it was too cold inside to wait for my mom, and i was just leaning against the railing listening to some music. This group of late-twenties people came out and one guy lit up his ciggy first. However, he walked down a flight of stairs to the lower deck and his friends were like, "what are you doing down there?!" and he gave me a look and said,

"smoke here lah. there got small kid eh."




THANKS FOR YOUR CONCERN.

but maybe, you should just quit your bad habit(:




Anyway, went shopping for a guitar today. I want that $502.90 one from Yamaha. (:
It's a folk guitar, FS720S if i'm not wrong.

It's pretty darn good, and the sound's really full, which is good. Plus, it has this black finish that is just PURRTEEEEEE>>>>


Then i went down to the 3rd floor(?). Found this store called MADEWITHLOVE.
it's this really cool scrapbooking store that has the coolest collection of scrapbooking materials ever. and there's workshops there and stuff.

I think i wanna work there part-time if i get the chance (:


I NEED TO EARN MONEY UGHUGHUGH. babysitting here i come!

Just realized i've lost my monthly income of $10-$20 ever since Gitta's family stopped coming to the same mass as mine.

I no longer get to go to their house = tito Mon no longer needs my help = NO MONEY TO EARN D:



Right okay, gotta go shower and homework and stuff.

Out of the pure pandemonium that is my life now, I have decided to take time off and blog.
All for you lovely readers.
not really.



Sigh, what a waste of our match today.
We're leading 14-2, and then BOOMCLAPCLAPFIZZ,
it starts to rain.

Hopefully we get to pick it up from the 3rd quarter...


And what another waste, stupid geography test today.
If it were a class quiz, it'd be ownage. cause i knew the answers, CAUSE I STUDIED OKAY.
But no, it wasn't counted in school marks...


SIGHSIGHSIGHSIGHSIGH.


Thing's I haven't done..

1. English Book Review
2. UPLOAD EXCHANGE PHOTOS
3. SECTION JACKET DESIGN
4. Class Tee design.
5. Revision
- Chemistry
- Geography
- History


AND I JUST REMEMBER TOMORROW GOT HISTORY TEST SHIT SHIT SHIT.

okay bye now byebyee. *panic*


(oh and i even forgot about David A's signing today, ugh.)

Gosh, my dad keeps yelling at me.
If i do something, he'll yell.
If i don't do anything, he'll yell.
What the hell is up with that????

Anyway, that was just a sidetrack.
This post has a point, strangely enough.


So, HARRY POTTER, or TWILIGHT?
(yeah i got this idea off of one of Hank Green's videos, the one of the harry potter song. there was this whole comment-debate thing and anyway...)

Regardless of how much I love Twilight, I'd still go with Harry Potter actually.

HP's been around since forever and I really did grow up reading it. For 7 years, it was my companion. Wait no, that can't be right, I can't remember if i could read it at 7 years old...

Point is, I grew up with it, grew up with the characters and all.

PLUS, if you take a look at the storylines, Twilight is just kind of a supernatural modern Romeo and Juliet. Harry Potter has it's own little world stuck in London, which is great.

Also, i'd like to point out that I didn't do anything for Twilight, because i know it would never happen. Seriously, a vampire boyfriend? I'd be first in line if there was such a thing. but nooooo.

I remember I was pretty disappointed on my 11th birthday. I thought i'd get a letter from Hogwarts, with an owl and everything. i felt super extra special for years and years because my birthday was the same as Harry's (: It still IS the same actually.

Didn't cry when i figured Breaking Dawn was the last book in the Twilight Saga. But i was bawling when I reached the last few pages of the Deathly Hallows. I couldn't stop reading as much as i wanted to. I DIDN'T WANT THE STORY TO END!

I think everyone thinks Twilight is better, because it appeals to a more adult audience, whose presence can be felt more in the world. HP appeals to kids, who don't know how to create fansites or posters or shirts or whatever it is we can come up with now.



So i made my point that HARRY POTTER IS BETTER, (and the fact that JK Rowling managed to squeeze in gay/homosexual innuendos is a plus).

And i don't care if you don't care what i just talked about in the entire post. Just wanted to prove a point.

comment on this in the tagbox!

Alex's video on Harry Potter's homosexuality... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5grBzXKKe_E

Sigh, another day, another story.


Finally figured out the british accent, cause well, I CAN DO IT NOW YAY ME.


We had a little match with HGSS today, and seriously, WE LOST BY ONE POINT.
D:

But no, the pain in that was in myself.
I STOPPED after just one quarter. I didn't know if i could continue or not, and i regret it. I feel like a failure, because my stamina is like shit, and well, THATS ALL IT TAKES TO RUIN MY POSITION.

Coach said... Coach ALREADY said, my position is shakey, and unintentionally, i think i'm making it worse? At the point of time, I make it worse and only realise when it's over. And regret sinks deeper and deeper.

Sigh. I let myself down.



And then, my progress report isn't TOO bad, did expectedly bad in Chinese, but that's about it really. Improved in my science, and dropped in my humanities.

but, i know what i did wrong for my humanities, so i'm kind of okay with my results.

Now, i have this drive to mug like crazy, and it's always there. That naggy feeling. Which means that at the end of this post, i would leave the computer and go study.

yes, Anna is gonna study.


ONE BEAUTIFUL THING I LEARNT TODAY...

Bryan was playing Stacko with those plastic cups we had, and well, i started playing, then Florence started playing, then JunLin started playing, and we all ended up playing it.

it was entertaining.
(posting up vids soon.)


ALRIGHTY, study time.